I do beg your pardon said old Sheriff Joe
I’d just done my duty the best that I know
And swept all those scumbags right off of the streets
Of Maricopa County which has been my beat
I’d been County Sheriff for twenty three years
My people all loved me, my rallies they cheered
I had enough backing to do what I want
No judge’s going to tell me I can or I can’t
I’ve been in the Army, I’ve worked DEA
I’ve sold rocket rides into near outer space
A radio station, KJOE, my creation
And thousands of times on TV o’er the nation
I know there’ve been judgments by courts against me
They’re softer on convicts than I like to be
I put them in tents in our blistering heat
For prisoners like these all my actions were meet
They claim we neglected sex crimes against children
Hell, most of those cases were cleared by exception
Although no convictions on those were extant
You see they were children of false immigrants
Now I’ve been convicted of contempt of court
And, yes, I’m contemptuous, they come up short
It is a conspiracy leveled at me
But then that’s okay since I knew I’d be freed
‘Cause I was for Trump really right from the start
We both knew Obama was false to his heart
I supported Trump’s bid for the Presidency
And I let the world know most vociferously
So now that my friend rightly gave me a pardon
I expect criticism against him will harden
But I’m in his corner; I have him to thank
Together we’ll rid us of bad immigrants
8/26/17
